The Dream of The Dead Physician

Around the time I had read Godfather Death to Rose and we discussed its meaning Rose brought me a dream in which she is in her room in the nursing home and the nurse comes to her to tell her her physician had dies. Rose remembers feeling very sad when she hears this news but also not surprised. The physician in the dream is not any physician she knows but she really likes this physician. It reminded her of the physician she had to give up to go to her current nursing home.

At the time Rose was struggling with her physicians the oncologist and attending who were not comminicating effectively. Rose had complained about not having an appetite and the oncologist ordered Megace. The attending physician did not think this was a good plan, there were side effects and she did not belive it worked effectively but Rose wanted to do as she was told and she listened to and trusted the oncologist. The relationship with the oncologist was unlike and in some ways very opposite to the relationship with her other physicians. She accepted what he had to say and whatever treatments he orders she will comply with.. She was not so obsequious with her other physicians. In fact she was quite oppositional asking questions about their choices and if not satisfied with the answers she would refuse the treatment or diagnostic. When I first started seeing Rose I was told by the staff of the nursing home how she had thrown a podiatrist out of her room becuase he would not listen to her. She was giving him instructions on how to cut her husbands nails and the physician said, "I am the doctor and I will do as I please". Rose told him to get out and not to let the door hit him in the ass. These two Roses were manifesting side by side for the next several months.

When she returned from the oncologist with an order for Megace I was irritated because of the amount of discussion we had in which appetite was not a big issue for her. She did want to take another pill though the option to take an appetite enhancer was always there. I was irritated because she argued against it then when she sees the oncologist he simply orders it and she takes. It occurred to me the old Rose, fighting mad, demanding respect and don't you dare treat me like these other rag dolls sitting around in wheelchairs, Rose was giving way to a Rose that was more accepting and willing to be taken care of. And perhaps the old image of the physician was dying or had died inside her.